maybe this is what happens
by misswhiteblack
Summary: -when a tornado meets a volcano- ... For the Flower Challenge


_Written as a response to The Flower Challenge by Persephone's flower_

**Characters: **_Lily/Teddy  
_**Prompt: **_Tulips_

* * *

**maybe this is what happens when a **_**Tornado**_** meets a **_**Volcano**_

* * *

_Why did it have to be like this?  
Another night without one kiss  
I thought love stories never had their ending.  
But love like this, love so strong  
It feels so right, it feels so wrong  
It's a little thing I like to call  
The Shadow of Love_

The Shadow of Love - JaKil

* * *

_I. listen, i am alone at a crossroads, i'm not at home in my own home & i've tried & tried to say what's on my mind, you should have known_

...

So maybe she has just been fooling herself all this time. Maybe secretly, down in the depths of her heart she has always known that's she's been in love with Teddy but _Merlin_, it came as such a shock. The moment the thought slipped into her head it astounded her, leaving her gaping at herself in the mirror and wondering where on earth it came from. Her brain seems to be on sprint mode as it races through the memories of her life, memories of Teddy playing princess to her knight in shining armour because she's always had a hero complex, and every single memory seems to hold Teddy's face because they've always been together.

And she doesn't quite know what do to with the information and she carries it around like a weight in her chest desperate for no one to have noticed. They don't seem to notice all except for Teddy who seems to realise that there is something wrong with the owls she has been writing him. Of course he notices. He's her best friend. So she struggles to make her owls sound like the usually do because she has to keep pretending.

She takes some time to think about it and once she stops shying away from the idea of being in love with Teddy the awkwardness begins to lessen because who better to fall in love with than Teddy? He has to love her back. So for the rest of her sixth year she lets the fire rage in her blood and by the time it comes to go home all her awkwardness is gone. She's Lily after all, Teddy's Lily.

_II. an unknown terror as our friendship fades, a flash of lightning, a rush of pain_

...

So she waits impatiently at home for Teddy to come round but he seems to be so very busy for the first week of her holidays and she starts getting on her brother's nerves when she jumps every time the door opens. When Hugo invites her round to his house one day she refuses because she's worried that he'll come by and she'll miss him. She knows he'll come though because Teddy always _comes_ to see her.

And finally, in the second week of her holidays, Teddy comes in through the door of the living room his hair a shock of turquoise and his electric blue eyes sparkling. She is lying on the couch staring out of the window at the wispy clouds on the blue sky and her faces splits into an enormous beam as she flings herself on him.

'Whoa, Lils,' he says as he staggers back a bit under the force of her bear hug. 'I've missed you too.'

She laughs as she lets him go and he looks down at her before ruffling her hair affectionately like he always does.

'Teddy, I thought you were never coming,' she tells him as she sits on the couch patting the space beside her.

'Don't be daft, Lily,' he responds, laughing at the idea as he takes his usual seat on the couch next to her. 'I've just been a little busy.'

And there is something different about him that Lily just can't fathom and she stares at him for a moment wondering what it could be. He seems a lot more grown up since Christmas and his eyes seem all the more sparkly. She doesn't waste much thought on it. She just wants to tell him what she just so recently discovered but that he surely knew already because she's always loved him.

'I have something to tell you,' she says in a sing-song voice snuggling herself in under his arm and is a little confused when Teddy doesn't hug her to him but instead removes his arm from around her shoulders.

'I have something to tell you too,' he says seriously which throws her a little because when Teddy is with her he is never serious.

'You go first.'

She watches him as he takes a deep breath and she tilts her head to the side like a puppy dog her confusion intensifying for a moment.

'Well, Lils,' he says not looking at her, 'Victoire and I are getting married.'

She blinks wondering if she has heard him right and then the dam breaks somewhere in her chest and she realises that she has forgotten all about the wonderful, perfect Victoire. The girl who captured Teddy's heart so many years ago but it wasn't right. Teddy had promised her that it wouldn't change anything. _"I'll always love you the best"_ he had assured her back then when he'd been nineteen and she'd only been nine.

'Oh.'

The silence seems to deafen her and then she is running and she can hear him calling after her but she tears up stairs away from him, her heart in so many pieces. She bursts into her room and she throws herself on her bed and bawls the light right out of her eyes. It feels like something is crushing her and her heart, it's feels like glass and it _stings_ so much. Teddy doesn't come after her, nobody does and she is glad because she doesn't want them to see this.

_III. i know right where I fit in, take me, make me, you know I'll always be in love with you, right 'til the end_

...

She allows herself only that night to grieve and the next morning she finds that in the muggle world she would really make it as an actress. She smiles and she laughs and she talks too much because that's the way it's supposed to be. That's just how Lily is. She ignores the talk about Teddy and Victoire's wedding even though it slowly carves holes in her chest and she keeps her chin up at all times. She sobs herself to sleep at night because it's only her pillow and the glittering stars on her ceiling that can see her _desolation_.

Victoire comes round one day saying she needs to speak to Lily and Lily can't bear the thought of having to be in the same room as her but she allows her big cousin to drag her into the dining room. Lily plonks herself on one of the chairs and tries not to glare when Victoire glides so elegantly into the one opposite and shakes out her golden mane. It kills her a little inside because how could she ever compare to Victoire?

'I was wondering if you would be my bridesmaid,' Victoire asks her and Lily can see the way her cobalt blue eyes light up when she says the word bridesmaid and it breaks her just that little bit more. She just wants to hate Vic in peace and not have to deal with any conflicting feelings. She should have known that wouldn't be allowed to happen because Victoire is so lovely and so kind and so ... _perfect_.

'Oh, Vic,' Lily stumbles over the words, 'shouldn't you ask someone else? You know me. I've never liked the whole dress up idea.'

And it's true. Lily had always wanted to be the hero not the damsel in distress and it was Teddy who volunteered to be rescued by her again and again.

'Please, Lily,' she pleads batting long blonde eyelashes. 'It'll mean so much to Teddy. You're his best friend.'

It rips another hole in her chest when Victoire says that because it reminds her that she will never be anything more that Teddy's best friend and she tries not to flinch and looks calmly back into Victoire's pleading eyes.

'Okay, Vic,' she says in a voice little above a whisper and Victoire is on her feet and sweeping her into a delicate hug. Lily breathes in the floral scent of her perfume for a moment feeling very light headed and slightly sick but in the back of her mind she thinks of how much it's going to jolt Teddy when he realises that she'll be a bridesmaid at his wedding.

_IV. tired of being no one, nobody at all, sick of being loved like I'm a friend_

...

And she knows when Teddy hears because he comes round to the house and she is lying upstairs on her bed wishing that she was back at Hogwarts already. She looks up at him as he bursts into her room his shock of hair red and there is anger in his eyes but she doesn't bother to spare him more than a glance because it hurts too much to look at him.

'You stop speaking to me when I tell you I'm getting _married_,' he shouts at her, 'but you're going to be Victoire's _bridesmaid_?'

'Well why didn't you tell her you didn't _want_ me?' she shouts back sitting up on the edge of her bed to face him and just maybe she can stand to look at him when they are arguing.

'I don't know what I have _done_, Lily,' he continues his shouting her words a slap around the face. 'Did you just stop wanting to be my friend or something? Merlin I thought friends were supposed to be happy for you when you decide to get married.'

'Don't even _try_ to pretend that you don't know what this is about,' she screams flinching when he mentions the word married. 'You damn well know. You're a flaming liar, Teddy Lupin.'

He stares at her then his hands still balled into fists his knuckles white just like his face. She can't overcome the urge to kiss him and before she knows it she's in his arms and he's kissing her back with ferocious hunger. She presses herself to him trying to make the moment just last that little bit longer because right now it's a fairytale and when he breaks away it'll be a horror movie.

'Lily, I can't do this,' he says breaking it off with a gasp and her heart sinks just that little bit more. 'I can't do this to Victoire. Your father would kill me, you're far too young.'

The horror movie seems to have begun and she looks up at him for a moment because she only just fits under his chin and when she had stopped growing it had seemed only natural for her to fit right there. She feels empty and it scares her a little because she's never felt like this before. The pain isn't there and she's just _numb_.

'Get out,' she says in a quiet voice turning away from him.

'Lily ...' he begins to plead but she doesn't turn round.

'Get. Out,' she repeats a little louder and lot firmer this time.

He doesn't respond and after a moment she hears her door creak open and she closes her eyes tears pouring down her face as the door slams shut behind him. She doesn't want to cry but she can feel her chest heaving and it's like she can't breathe. She can't breathe without him.

_V. i wish i could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry_

...

She can't stand the looks her family gives her when she descends down the stairs later with her head held high and she falters a little when she looks at her dad and sees the pain in his eyes. They don't say anything and she is wise enough not to pretend that dinnertime because she really doesn't want them to be hurting for her.

After dinner she returns to her room and looks around it in despair. It's a room fit for a princess her father always said because that's what she was, her father's little princess even though she would have rather been her father's little superhero. She knows she'll always be her father's little princess and she _neverevernever_ wants to see him in pain but it was there in his eyes tonight. He knows she is hurting and he is hurting right along there with her and right now she wants nothing more than to get out, to stay away.

So she packs a bag hastily throwing clothes in it left right and centre. She's not quite sure where to go because wherever she is her family could always come and get her. She racks her brains trying to think of someone who would have her and not tell her family where she is until the end of the summer. When she thinks of it she wonders suddenly how she could have overlooked it and she gets into bed and waits until the dead of night when she creeps down stairs and floos away.

_VI. just going to stand there & hear me cry but that's all right because i love the way you lie_

...

She lands in a dusty grate, coughing and spluttering and she can feel a pair of hands dragging her out of the hearth. The hands start beating her down trying to get the ash of her and when she stops coughing she looks up into deep blue eyes that sparkle a little set in a pale face.

'Lily what are you doing here at this time?' the admonishment comes from a pair of pale pink lips.

'Sorry, Olly,' says Lily apologetically with a small grin as the girl before her tosses her black hair over her shoulder. 'Can I stay here for a while?'

Olly looks down at Lily for a moment and Lily remembers once wishing to be as tall as Olly who is 5 ft 10 in comparison to Lily's 5 ft 4.

'Teddy is it?' she asks.

'That obvious, eh?'

Olly shrugs and then takes her bag from her.

'You won't tell my parents will you or James?' Lily asks her trying to keep her voice from wavering. 'I just needed to get away for a little while.'

'Of course I won't tell them,' Olly replies with a bright smile. 'Come on. You can have the spare room.'

And that was why Lily thought it was crazy that she hadn't thought of Olly first. Olly, who had been James' best friend since they were born, was the kind of person who could keep a secret and didn't ask too many questions but Olly was always intuitive. Although Olly could certainly keep a secret, it was hard to keep one around her. Harry had always said that it was skill she had picked up from her mother.

'Here we go.'

Olly let Lily into the spare room and Lily takes one look around and decides that it was perfect. It's plain with whitewashed walls and a double bed with white sheets but here and there are odd bits of antique furniture which are so definitely Olly. Lily smiles a little as Olly drops her bag by the foot of the bed.

'You're welcome to stay up until the end of the holidays,' Olly tells her with a soft smile, 'but you have to go back to school. Your father will plain murder me if I let you stay here when you're supposed to be at school.'

'Of course, Olly.'

'Okay. Well, I'll let you get some sleep. Goodnight.'

And as Olly brushes past her Lily feels her squeeze her hand slightly and it brings a lump to her throat. She manages to hold back the tears for a little bit until the door closes and she is alone once again.

_VII. i can read in your face that your feelings are driving you wild, but girl, you're only a child_

...

Lily takes on the new lease of life that is living with Olly. She gets a lot of time to herself when Olly is at Quidditch practice or out with James. She helps with the tidying when Olly eventually gets round to doing it and she laughs with her as they stand in the kitchen making dinner because Olly is terrible at household spells. When Olly suggests that they go out one evening she lends Lily her backless emerald green dress and Lily's jaw just about dislocates from her skull as her mouth drops open because it is so beautiful.

So she does her make-up and Olly helps her pile up her red locks into a glamorous hair style before she goes to get herself ready. Lily sprays a little of Olly's perfume on her wrists before covering herself in silver body glitter and when she puts the dress on coupled with Olly's matching pair of killer heels and descends down the stairs Olly beams at her.

'You look stunning,' Olly tells her and when Lily runs her eyes over Olly's black sparkly dress she has to return the compliment.

They go to Olly's favourite muggle club and Lily recognises none of the music play and none of the people in the bar. Olly tells her it's better that way because then nobody can find out where she is and Lily's revals in the looks she is getting from the men as she takes to the dance floor with Olly. She has always thought that Olly was the most beautiful girl she had ever met but tonight the looks that were directed their way were split evenly between them. The muggle men found her just a desirable as Olly and it made her feel elated.

She drinks a little bit too much than is good for her and she finds herself feeling a little miserable when she finally gets home with Olly. She stumbles into her bedroom, her shoes in her hands and collapses on the bed. She had fun but the ache of Teddy has not subsided and she lays there for a moment before she sits up and decides to write him a letter.

_Dearest Teddy,_ she begins.

_I wish I could say something meaningful. I wish I didn't love you but I do and I know that you love her. I don't want to be miserable or bitter or anything. I just want to be Lily but I can't be me without you. You know everything about me after all. I want to say please Teddy pick me but there is no point in disappointing myself further because I know you'll pick her. You once said that you'd always love me the best. You lied to me Teddy and I hate it._

_I miss you. Please, let's just not care about what anyone says. I don't care that you are ten years older than me. Please, let's just leave and go to Amsterdam and run among the tulips together. You always said you'd take me there._

_Your Lily. _

_X._

And before she can change her mind she hurries down the stairs and gives the letter to Olly's owl Artemuis who takes it from her and soars in the night.

_VIII. let's pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now_

...

She doesn't hear back from the letter and she tries not to let it hurt so much but it really does and there is nothing she can do to stop it. Olly introduces her to muggle films and Lily is a little amazed at how similar they seem to her life. She enjoys them and Olly says it was about time she had a girl to watch them with and Lily grins because Olly's best friends are James, Fred and Sage Longbottom. Her Hogwarts letter arrives at Olly's and they both go to Diagon Alley to get her new school books the day after her parents. She knows she needs to go back home before Hogwarts starts but she doesn't know if she can stand to listen to her family discussing Teddy's wedding.

She is lying on her bed one morning reading one of Olly's muggle novels when she hears the front door bang open and she frowns a little to herself. Olly was home early. So she slides of her bed and goes out into the corridor and down the stairs to find Olly standing at the bottom of the stairs her face a little flushed.

'What's wrong?' Lily asks as Olly struggles to catch her breath.

'Teddy broke off the engagement with Victoire last week,' Olly tells her breathlessly and Lily's knees tremble and she has to sit down rather abruptly on the stairs. She stares at Olly wordlessly feeling a little sick and her heart is pounding in her chest.

Lily and Olly just stare at each other for what seems like hours even though it was only a minute or so. Lily doesn'tt know what to do or what to say and she feels so confused. How was she to know that it was because Teddy loved her? How was she to know that it wasn't just a little hiccup?

'What are you going to do?' Olly asks eventually as she ascends up the stairs and sits beside Lily.

'I ... I don't know,' Lily tells her in a small voice.

'It doesn't matter,' Olly says wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling Lily into towards her. 'You can stay here for as long as you like and think about it. You don't have to do anything just now.'

_IX. lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and i will try to fix you_

...

So Lily stays with Olly for a little while longer because she just can't bear the idea of being hurt again and she waits on Olly coming home everyday to see if she has any more news but she never does. So she finishes that essay she has to do for Transfiguration on Animagi and Olly helps her because she is ace at Transfiguration and is actually an animagus. When it is finished Lily thinks that she'll probably get an outstanding for it and she slips it into her new Transfiguration book. She sighs a little and realises she's been stalling for too long now.

So she goes out and buy Olly some sunflowers and jelly tots because Olly loves jelly tots even more than she loves Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. She packs her books and her clothes into her bag and she waits patiently for Olly to come home from Quidditch practice with the Holyhead Harpies. When Olly comes through the door she looks exhausted but she beams in delight when Lily presents her with the sunflowers and the sweets.

'Aww, you didn't have to Lils,' she tells her setting the presents aside and clutching Lily into a cuddle. 'How did you know that sunflowers are my favourites?'

Lily smiles a little.

'James always buys you sunflowers for your birthday and to say sorry when he's been a pain,' she tells her.

Olly laughs a little.

'That's how I know your favourites are tulips,' she tells Lily. 'James always buys you tulips for your birthday or rather, I always remind him to buy you tulips for your birthday.'

They laugh together for a moment and then Lily hugs her just once more.

'Thanks for everything, Ol,' she whispers.

'Any time.'

Lily picks up her bag and they head to the living room fireplace. Olly throws a little floo powder into the hearth and the green flames flicker to life. Lily gives Olly once last smile before she steps into meet the flames and as she says "Victory Cottage" she swears she can hear Olly say "Good Luck".

_X. So hold on to me tight, hold on, i promise it'll be all right, because it's you and me together and baby all we've got is time_

...

There are exclamations as she steps out of the fireplace into the familiar lounge and her mother is the first one to reach her and she grabs Lily in her arms ignoring the ash and holds her tight against her. Lily wriggles uncomfortably for a moment until her mother finally lets go and she watches as her face turns from relief to anger.

'Lily, where have you been?' she shrieks at her.

And Lily doesn't have time to respond as her father sweeps her into his arms, picking her up off the floor as he does so and Lily can feel the tears beginning to flow on her face. She might not have wanted to have them to hurt along with her but she had hurt them all the same.

'Lily, we have been so worried,' he tells her in a soft voice obviously too relieve to be angry.

'I'm sorry,' she says as he eventually releases her and she looks between her parents. 'I just needed a little time. I stayed with Olly and I had a wonderful time.'

'You stayed with Olly,' says James appearing in the doorway looking cheerful with Al close behind him. 'She never bloody told me. Some girlfriend eh?'

Lily smiles but doesn't respond as James gives her a cuddle and then Al and she feels better being at home with her family. Her father can't seem to bear not touching her and he envelops her in another cuddles which about squeezes the life out of her. Her face must have been comical because James laughs.

'I'm sorry for worrying you all,' she says as her dad pulls away again.

'Don't do it again,' Ginny chastises her. 'I suppose we'll have to go into Diagon Alley again to get your school books and I don't suppose you have done any of your homework- ...'

'Olly took me to get all my school books,' Lily interrupts her quickly, 'and my homework is all done. Excuse me, I'll just go and put my stuff upstairs.'

And as she passes them she thinks she sees a look passes around the other four members of her family but the next moment she thinks she's imagined it. She climbs the stairs and opens the door to her bedroom and steps inside. It's wonderfully familiar and everything is the same as she dumps her bag on the floor with a resounding thump. She looks around to discover not everything is the same. There on her pillow is a single red tulip. She blinks but it doesn't disappear and slowly she crosses the room to pick it up from her pillow.

And as she stands next to the window there is a sudden rush of colour outside and she looks out to see the back garden swamped in tulips and she's running again. She rushes down the stairs and out into the back garden and everywhere she looks there are tulips in all colours, red and pink and yellow and purple.

Her heart thuds in her chest like a war drum as she wades through the tulips and there at the bottom of the garden she sees him. His hair is a shock of turquoise and his electric blue eyes are sparkling as she walks toward him. She can feel the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes as she slowly makes her way towards him.

'Hey Lily,' he says softly.

She doesn't respond. She doesn't really know how to and so she just stands amongst the tulips staring at him. He looks uncomfortable for a minute and his hand reaches up to rub the back of his neck.

'I didn't think we'd have enough time for Amsterdam,' he tells her sheepishly with the lopsided grin that Lily loves so much.

Then she's in his arms and the light is back in her eyes as she looked up at him and he holds her so close that she's pressing hard against him. His hand is clutched her fiery hair and he kisses her with the force of a tornado and a volcano erupts in her chest spilling fire through her veins. She never wants it to end because it's just so right and they work just like thunder and lightning.

And then they break away from each other and he pulls her into a cuddle his mouth at her ear.

'I love you,' he whispers and she echoes it with,

'I love you too.'

He pulls back from her to look properly into liquid chocolate eyes and he gives her that lopsided grin once again.

'I'm so sorry, Lily,' he tells her, 'I was a fool.'

'I don't mind you being a fool,' she replies softly, 'as long as you're my fool.'

And maybe she is a princess and Teddy is the knight in shining armour.

* * *

_I really hope you like it.  
First attempt at Lily/Teddy._

_Dedicated to Ellie (s i l v e r a u r o r a)  
Because she adores Lily/Teddy  
&& she's writes the most awesome fics about them._

_Also dedciated to dork-with-glasses  
Because Teddy is one of her favourite characters  
&& she really inspired me to start writing Next Gen._

_Kerr x._


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